Jun 18 - Strong Words

I’ve spoken a lot about why I love my brother. I’ll say it again just in case there is any confusion: I loved my brother, and I still do. However, I want to take a moment to say that the people in my life who still draw breath are more precious to me than ever before.

“I love you” is a sentence that we often speak in my house. It floats through the air and lands on the lips of my family. We love each other; we say it; and we mean it.

Since Brandon’s death, though, those words have landed with far more weight. They are shaded with deeper colors, and I can feel the air shiver when we hear them. It’s obvious why, right? Those words now have a whole new string of experiences behind them.

I love you — and want you to know it in case one of us dies.

I love you — because I never knew what I had until I lost it.

I love you — and please don’t die.

I love you — so much that it hurts.

I’m not sure that we love each other any more, but now we need each other to know it desperately.